Think back to the very first words you spoke this morning—before coffee, before the day really started. Maybe it was a warm “good morning” to someone you love. Maybe it was a harsh word you already wish you could take back. Either way, it was small. A sentence or two. Gone in seconds.
I had the privilege of teaching our church’s women’s Bible study last week. The passage I taught was James 3:1–12, about the impact of our mighty tongues. James takes one small part of the body—the tongue—and shows us that nothing so small holds so much power. One commentary referred to the tongue as the smallest but largest troublemaker.
Those few small words we spoke this morning carry more weight than almost anything else we do all day. We are the ones, so often, who set the emotional temperature of our homes, our friendships, and our circles. A kind word can steady someone for a week. A careless one can wound for years.
Our words have so much power. We often don’t realize the impact they can have. James describes our tongue as a fire. It has the power to destroy, just like a fire. All it takes is a spark to start a fire, and all it takes is a negative word to cause harm to someone’s soul. Do you remember the old saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me”? We all grew up with it, but it isn’t true. The bitter pain of a word spoken against us can hurt us for a lifetime, long after a broken bone has healed.
We wound others with our words by gossiping, bullying, lying, shaming, quarreling, slandering, insulting, and more. We see this especially in children today, who are hurt by bullying, body shaming, and gossip. It leads to pain, anxiety, and anger expressed in unhealthy ways.
Think about the words we speak, the ones we write in emails and text messages, and don’t forget—the ones we post on social media. James 3:9-10 says, “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.” Are we using our words to delight or destroy?
Our words have the power to delight, to make someone’s day. Think about the last compliment you received, the “well done” on a project you’ve been working on, the unexpected “I love you.” How did that make you feel? Our words have tremendous impact when we use them to encourage and lift up those around us.
How do we use our words for good, to delight and encourage?
- Pause – before we say something hurtful, pause and ask God to help us control our tongue. Once those words come out, we can’t take them back. And remember the person is God’s son or daughter.
- Pray – before we speak, pray and ask God to give us what to say, and how to say it. We are to speak the truth in love, and to do it gently and with care.
- Practice affirmations – let’s use our words for good. Say something kind that builds others up and encourages them.
- Practice confession – when we’ve said something hurtful to someone, let’s apologize and do whatever we can to make it right.
As you think about your words, it might be helpful to journal your responses to the following reflection questions:
- Whose words shaped you most, for good or harm, and what does that teach you about the power of your own words?
- If your words this past week were water from a spring, what would they reveal about the condition of your heart?
- In what way is God asking you to tame your tongue?
- Who do you need to ask for forgiveness for the hurt your words caused?
You are loved and precious in God’s sight. We are called to encourage and build each other up (Ephesians 4:29). Take time this week to practice affirmations, and watch how your words bring life to the people around you and put smiles on their faces!
