Last weekend I had the privilege of being a session speaker at the Inspire Women’s Conference. The theme for the conference was Deeply Rooted in Christ, and my session was entitled Deeply Rooted in the Practice of Silence and Solitude. I shared the importance of spending time alone and being able to sit quietly in the presence of God. For many of us, the being alone part is not so hard (with the exception of you moms with kids at home). We all want and wish we had a moment to be alone! Our souls crave and need separation from all of the noise and distractions in our lives.
Practicing silence is nothing new. We observe moments of silence as a gesture to show respect, particularly in mourning those who have died, or as part of tragic historical event, like 911. It is a time of silent contemplation, prayer, reflection or meditation. Throughout history, many monks, nuns and priests have practiced silence and solitude. At the current active Cistercian Order, the monks say it provides a condition for God to work on a person’s inner life. Artists have done so as well. Henry David Thoreau built a cabin at Walden Pond where he lived entirely alone for two years. Emily Dickinson lived in complete isolation from the age of 30 until her death and wrote over 1800 poems. The time unleashed their creativity.
I became more familiar with this practice when as a pastor, I attended a program with the Center for Pastoral Flourishing at Western Seminary (I’m the associate director). We spent time practicing silence and solitude during a two-day retreat. I needed rest for my weary soul and this made a big difference. I wasn’t aware how much my soul needed this! It has helped me to slow down and deepened my relationship with God.
This is an opportunity for us to slow down in our busy lives and create space to be with God. Even if you have a different faith tradition, we all need time to be still and quiet to recharge. It brings refreshment and rest that our souls so desperately need. It also provides an opportunity to gain profound insight and guidance.
But how do we get started? The first step is to slow down and prepare for your time with God. Praying a breath prayer is a short sentence that can be said in one breath and prayed before we start or if our minds wander.
- Start out with taking some deep breaths, breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth.
- After you’ve done that several times you can add a prayer. For example: Breathe in – Be still and know….Breathe out – that I am God. Or The Lord is my Shepherd….I shall not want.
Now you are ready to move into your time of silence and solitude. Here are five simple steps adapted from Ruth Haley Barton’s An Invitation to Silence and Solitude.
- Identify your sacred place and time – find a comfortable place where you can be alone and a specific time.
- Begin with a modest goal – start with 2 minutes daily for a week. Then increase that to 5 minutes and slowly increase it as you feel led. Set an alarm on your phone for as a reminder.
- Settle into a comfortable and alert physical position – to start sit with your palms up as an act of surrender and openness. Over time choose the posture that’s right for you.
- Ask God to give you a simple prayer that expresses your openness and desire for God – can be the breath prayers mentioned earlier.
- Close your time in silence with a prayer of gratitude for God’s presence with you.
Please keep in mind that you will experience some challenges, like finding a space to be alone. I’ve heard of going people going into their bathrooms, closets and even out to their cars! We can also be faced with many distractions and interruptions. It always happens when I go to sit outside, the lawn mower is going, dogs are barking etc. And then there are the interruptions from your kids, the phone and your pets. My puppy Coco does not understand the concept of alone time! And sometimes you have so much on your mind that it may drift and wander. When this happens, you can redirect your attention to your breathing and focus on one word to bring your mind back to God. This happens to me after years of practice, so don’t be discouraged! Like anything it takes practice, but the rewards are worth it.
As a leader you can’t give of yourself to others if your tank is on empty. Just like a car needs fuel to run properly, we need spiritual fuel to keep us going. What are you filling your soul with? This practice gives us the fuel and energy we need to keep going in the midst of so much busyness.
I pray that you will incorporate this practice so that you can experience rest for your soul. Why not start today?
